Well, it’s almost time for the Super Bowl.
No, I don’t mean the actual Super Bowl. The only time I’ve watched that was when Prince played the halftime show. Prince totally won that game.
I mean *my* Super Bowl–the election season. It sounds like Hillary is about to break the shocking news that she’s running for President any day now, and Romney has already indicated that he is going to serve his reheated Mittsie stew to a conservative base which wasn’t that crazy about it the first time around.
Politics is my hobby and my spectator sport. Yeah, I realize that the question of which party wins the 2016 election will likely not make a huge, earth-shaking difference in my life. The country is too divided for any drastic changes to happen, and both the Democratic and the Republican candidates are too beholden to their wealthy donors, so…. But I won’t lie–I like rooting for a team. I don’t care about muscles and the ability to throw a ball around, so teams of jocks fail to interest me. I’d much rather root for the nerd who does the most eloquent job of explaining economic policy. My games take place on C-Span.
So I’m getting ready. I’m checking out the horses which might be running in the race. I’m doing finger stretches for the hardcore blogging to come in the next couple of years. I’m preparing my finest witty jabs for my online conservative friends. Yep, this is our time, my fellow political junkies.
Oh, and since I’m in the Northwest…go Seahawks. I guess.
01/22/2015 at 8:39 pm
Goodness, you’re terrible. You mean, you didn’t even see the Superbowl half time show where the phrase “wardrobe malfunction” was created? Good luck with elections. I’ll just read your post for updates. I’m joining your friend in her bunker.
01/23/2015 at 8:32 pm
Good point. By the time I got to see the wardrope malfunction snapshots, the offending nipple was always blurred out. So I missed out, clearly!
01/23/2015 at 8:37 pm
Tee hee. You’re lucky. I am scarred for life. I can’t unsee it.
01/23/2015 at 8:46 pm
ROFL!
01/23/2015 at 8:46 pm
(Didn’t realize Janet’s boobie was that disturbing!)
01/23/2015 at 8:53 pm
I can show you the space on my visual cortex.
01/23/2015 at 9:01 pm
I believe you!
01/25/2015 at 11:35 am
Here, let me hook you up with the uncensored version. http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18k1fyac4l4bfjpg/k-bigpic.jpg
Aside from the obvious staging of the “malfunction”, the most “disturbing” part of the whole thing was the piercing. Sure, it went with the outfit and afterwards it was as if all of America stared into the sun…but it still kind of ruined it for me. I’m a “go natural” kind of guy who doesn’t like piercings, tattoos, or fake titties for that matter.
I don’t get what the point of publishing a censored version is. After all, the exposed titty was the entire story! No titty, no story. So, if you ain’t gonna show the whole story, don’t run the story. This kind of bullshit happens all the time.
“Today at 6: Cheney says something naughty on the floor of the Senate to a Senator. We won’t tell you what he said. But trust us. It’s naughty.”
I mean, America is so fucking uptight. Whip out a titty on TV and Americans react like you set off a fucking pressure-cooker bomb! But when it comes to showing violence? On network TV, you can now slit somebody’s throat and have them gush blood at 8PM on a weeknight. But you can’t whip out a titty, even past midnight, even if you’re demonstrating breast cancer screening. Shit, on most channels, you can’t even say “titty”.
01/25/2015 at 7:32 pm
Yeahhhhh, that sun-looking thing clamping the nip down…is not a turn-on. Unless she was shilling for solar energy, also completely unnecessary. Um, thanks for sharing that, I have now experienced the undiluted Janet boobie!
And yes, here in America-land, people getting blasted to smithereens with high-caliber weapons is far preferable to showing a single nipple. After all, that might disturb the kids! Fuck if I understand how that’s supposed to work.
01/23/2015 at 7:25 pm
I think I’ll join SaBiscuit in the bunker as well. I don’t know if my nerves can take another political season. I’m pretty worn out. You might have to cheer for the both of us.
01/23/2015 at 8:30 pm
Hmmmm, I’m starting to get suspicious now. It’s like all my blogging friends are planning some kind of bunker party that I didn’t know about 😉
01/23/2015 at 8:54 pm
We are. Mwah ha ha.
01/30/2015 at 10:06 am
Jesus! If only I knew so many women would be willing to “audition” for spaces in survivor bunkers, I’d have saved myself a LOT of time, effort, money and soul crushing rejection in my youth and just built a bunker instead.
01/31/2015 at 7:23 pm
And here you thought they would be impressed by your personality and intelligence…when all the ladies want is just a hole in the ground. Very primal, no?
01/25/2015 at 12:06 pm
I love the game of football, but I can barely watch the NFL anymore. I watch about 10 a year, mostly because they coincide with my Sunday nap time. Even then, it’s mostly to cheer for Micheal Vick to get paralyzed.
Without the ability to fast forward my VCR past all the hyperbole, meaningless jabber, macho bravado and stupid time-wasting bullshit (the bullshit-to-football ratio is about 1000:1) I wouldn’t watch at all. Jesus! A channel that doesn’t even show games on Sunday has 3 hours of pre-game show for a game that has a 1 hour of playing time, but often takes over 4 hours to play.
For example, in the time it takes to decide an “instant” replay ruling, I can go out to a bar, pick up a supermodel, have mind blowing, tantric sex and still come home in time to catch the “all important verdict the entire universe depends on” (aka whether it will be 2nd and 34, or 2nd and 35 in a pre-season game between the 2 worst teams in the league where the score is already 45 to 3.)
01/25/2015 at 7:34 pm
I have never managed to get into (American) football, and judging from your description above, I haven’t missed out on anything. I can nap just fine on Sunday without a game on 😉
01/26/2015 at 7:32 am
That said, I’d rather watch that preseason game between the 2 worst NFL teams LIVE with all the bullshit intact than spend 15 seconds discussing/hearing about the 2016 election, which is STILL over a year and a half away.
Just like the NFL’s bullshit-to-football ratio, US politics has an inexcusably large bullshit-to-politics ratio. That’s because the NFL is not about football and US politics is not about politics. It’s all about their respective hype machines getting rich while monopolizing the minds of the fans. And they’re doing it with meaningless hyperbole, not the actual meat & potatoes of it.
It’s one thing for sports to do it, because they are ultimately meaningless events anyway. Politics, however, is not a game. Politics has real impact on real lives, something all of us have been trained to forget by the Powers That Be. It’s a Jedi Mind Trick
“These are not the issues you are looking for, it’s the horse race you want. Talk about elections and non-issues while we pass by without you paying attention.”
This is why I absolutely refuse to talk about the 2016 election until…wait for it….2016!
01/27/2015 at 8:35 pm
That is a good point–I wish it were more about the issues than about the hype. But I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t find the horse race aspect of it exciting as well. Yeah, it’s totally ridiculous that the election season is getting started already…which is why I refuse…oh wait, which is why I’m ready to start talking about this totally ridiculous election season right now 🙂
01/27/2015 at 9:03 pm
And I have to add that while I don’t care so much about football, I’m going to root for the Hawks this weekend just because I’m getting annoyed with all of the East Coast news media I watch automatically rooting for the Pats. Seahawks!
01/28/2015 at 7:51 pm
Prince totally did win that game, and I didn’t even watch. I don’t support the NFL anymore: too many felons playing. And politics are an arena I stay far away from! I fill out my ballot for my choice of whoever appears to be the lesser of two evils for that particular election season, but I’ve learned to keep my actual political beliefs to myself. People get a little too insane over politics!
01/31/2015 at 7:25 pm
Yeah, that is true. I can’t help being passionate about politics, but political debates (especially online!) can certainly turn ugly fast. I, too, have learned to be cautious.
02/01/2015 at 1:43 pm
Nothing wrong with being passionate about politics or anything else! A good debate can be a lot of fun, and both sides can learn something. It’s the people that get angry when other views don’t match theirs that make it necessary to be cautious. Religion, politics, and race seem to be the three things that cause the most trouble!
02/01/2015 at 5:35 pm
Yeah, that’s when I back out…when I notice that the rational debate is over, and the anger is bubbling up.