I’ve never been one to hide the fact that I find the libertarian point of view to be annoying and unrealistic. But now, there is a new kind of person which irritates me even more than libertarians: People Who Pretend To Be Libertarian.
Yep, a lot of folks out there are faking being a libertarian. Whether it’s because they’re desperate to appeal to a changing demographic, or because “libertarian” has become the latest trendy term to fling around, like pretending to be a geek. How can you tell they’re not genuine? It’s the “I’m libertarian, but” phenomenon.
“I’m a libertarian, but I’m against gay marriage.” “I’m a libertarian, but we shouldn’t legalize marijuana.” This statement is then followed by some flimsy excuse about why, even though “I’m all about liberty!”, this particular freedom shouldn’t be allowed. Well…okay. So…hate to break it to you…you’re not a libertarian. The one redeeming value of the chaotic, might-makes-right libertarian vision of society is that you’re supposed to be completely free to make your own choices about how you live your life. If you reserve that right only to the people whose preferences match yours, and do not grant others that freedom, then the entire point of this concept breaks down. If you want the country’s laws to be based on the Bible, then we’re not in a libertarian universe anymore. Mind you, you can base your personal life decisions on the Bible if you wish, but the moment you try to force that on others, you are no longer a libertarian.
No, if you want to outlaw abortion and ban gay marriage, then you’re just a same old, same old religious conservative. I get it, you want to call yourself something else, because these days, being a conservative Christian is considered kinda lame. But your disguise is see-through. If you’re really a constitutional conservative, traditional on social issues, then own that. Stand up for what you believe in. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not.
Because political labels come and go, but one thing remains the same–posers are never cool.
eurobrat 
05/23/2015 at 2:21 pm
A Libertarian who doesn’t believe in “legalizing it” ??? That’s a new one to me! Shit, damn near every Libertarian I’ve ever seen was high at the time. You have to be to believe that bullshit.
But since everyone is a trend chasing poser these days, I guess I can believe it.
“No, if you want to outlaw abortion and ban gay marriage, then you’re just a same old, same old religious conservative.”
Nah, you don’t have to be the “same old religious conservative” to want that, you just have to be the “same old conservative”. You don’t have to believe in Skydaddies to oppose those things. You just have to be a nasty asshole out to control other people’s sexual organs.
Truth is, like these Libertarian posers, most people are religious posers. They are only “religious” to cloak their values in some kind of supernaturally based superiority. Most people claim to believe in various gods, but actually live their lives like there aren’t.
I hate posers.
05/23/2015 at 4:29 pm
The legalization thing may still very well be true for a lot of libertarians. But over the past few years, I’ve noticed libertarianism morphing into a vague catch-all term. Just about every rightie now claims to be libertarian, and I’m not sure if they get what that means.
Most people who are socially conservative do tend to connect those views to religion. Now, whether or not they themselves actually follow the teachings of that religion, or just pick and choose the ones they prefer, is another story. I agree that hypocrites and posers suck!
05/23/2015 at 2:43 pm
You nailed it.
05/23/2015 at 4:24 pm
Thank you! I really feel like smacking people when they start giving me that “I’m libertarian, but I don’t think you should have the right to…” spiel. Ugh!
05/23/2015 at 5:50 pm
A true libertarian is anti-government regulation. Period.
05/24/2015 at 6:37 am
You can’t be a libertarian and think some things should be illegal is like saying you can’t be a Muslim and not strap on a bomb vest to blow up some infidel children. You’re requiring an absolute value and one at the end of the spectrum.
Hell! As an example, even core libertarian philosophy would claim that public smoking bans would be OK since public smoking could impact other people.
More specifically referencing your post – A libertarian can easily be against abortion because it is the killing of another person, something even libertarian thought finds worthy of government proscription.
05/24/2015 at 11:19 am
Oh, I don’t intend to apply an absolute value to libertarians. I presume that libertarians would still be in favor of outlawing things like theft and assault, since those harm other people 🙂 However, being socially conservative–and trying to turn your socially conservative beliefs into law–goes against the most elementary definition of being libertarian. Being economically conservative/socially liberal is what was supposed to make libertarians different from just plain old conservatives–if that’s not the case, then I’m not sure what the difference is.
This may no longer be the case as things have shifted, but in the past, many libertarians applied their socially liberal stance to abortion as well. Since there’s disagreement about the humanity of the fetus, the libertarian idea was that you let the individual decide if the fetus is human or not.
05/25/2015 at 2:18 am
Perhaps the “working definition” of the term is shifting and contracting to just the economic sphere and away from nananoyz’s “true libertarians.”
That being said, I can see where many people who would generally be labeled as libertarians might, in this degenerate age, be against things like abortion and queer marriage. The former because that debate is largely settled in that those who believe the unborn are humans and those that don’t have long ago parted ways. The latter because most know that the government won’t allow normal people not to endorse it and support it.
05/25/2015 at 9:45 am
I guess I perceive the process differently. I’m not so sure that the people who were the “true libertarians” are moving away from their stance on social issues. I think, rather, that libertarian has become such a popular term that conservatives who previously wouldn’t have called themselves libertarians now do. Maybe they’re trying to appeal to the younger crowd, I don’t know. But as long as they insist that we have to follow outdated rules about what is “degenerate”, I doubt they’ll have much luck.
05/25/2015 at 11:02 am
I think it’s all about (I’m going to gag on this vial term)…”re-branding”. (Note the use of dismissive ironic quotation marks.)
You’ve seen how, in their desperate attempt to look “kewl” & “not completely irrelevant”, CNN reads tweets from The Twit Zone on air as if they actually mean anything at all.
I think individual Republicans are also desperate to look hipper and more relevant than they are. Sure, a lot of them don’t want to be associated with the abject failure of the Bush Era and are looking for a new label to hide under. But this is more about our society’s increasingly stupid obsession with chasing whatever is “in”. (For example, the iDiots who line up for hours to buy phones identical to the one that never leaves their hand, but that they’ll throw away the second they get to the front of the line.)
Forget politics. In today’s toxic culture, the very notion of being “conservative” (sticking with the traditional, eschewing the new) is now like having leprosy. Libertarianism is “new & exciting”, but offers conservatives the chance hold onto conservative political views without the stigma of being old fashioned or (gag) “outdated”.
Problem is, they’re pretending to be something they are not. You know, like closeted gay men who are married with children. Libertarianism is their “beard”. They are still the same conservatives they’ve always been. They’re just trying to “fit in” in a judgmental society. But every so often, they slip up and their closeted secret becomes visible for a second.
It’s ironically funny, but also pretty sad.
05/25/2015 at 6:18 pm
Describing libertarianism as a “beard” perfectly sums up what I was trying to say.