He grew irritated with their questioning. They were members of the lamestream media, forever doubting the things he needed to do.
“It’s understandable that some people had to be arrested, but did they have to be shot?”
“They were troublemakers. They were rioting. Okay? This is what happens. Linda?”
“Do you have anything to say about the 30% unemployment rate?”
“That’s temporary. That’s only temporary. Sometimes there needs to be a little pain. I’m about to bring amazing jobs to this country, believe me. You have no idea.”
“But how will you do that, when…”
“Okay. You’re done. I already told you, honey. Amazing jobs. Hey Rick, how are you?”
“I’m doing very well, thank you. Mr. President, you have increased domestic oil production…”
“We’re drilling everywhere. Drilling everywhere.”
“…You’ve also removed excessive regulation, making it easier for our corporations to grow. We’re getting richer by the day. My question is, how much more glorious and powerful is America going to become in the near future?”
“You don’t even know, buddy. So much glory. So great. Number one. Number one.”
“Thank you for your inspiring answer.”
“No problem. Let’s see…Dan?”
“Mr. President, you’ve shown that you are not afraid to punish our enemies, even if it means using nuclear weapons. The American people are grateful for your help and protection…”
“You’re laying it on pretty thick, pal.”
“Hahahahaha….”
“But I do know that they’re grateful. I know they are.”
“What do you tell the naysayers who say that you’ve made the world a more dangerous place? That the civilian casualties in our strike on London were too high?”
“Those people were losers. They had to be bombed.”
Another reporter chimed in. “But those Americans who are protesting your policies…”
“They’re losers too. That’s why I had to lock so many of em up. Losers belong in jail.”
“Don’t you think that…”
“All right, I’m finished with this question. We’re done.”
“Mr. President, please…”
“Hey Gary, will you remove this guy? Will you take him outside? Thank you.”
“What? Hey, hold on! You can’t do this!”
“Mr. President, you can’t just remove journalists because they ask you questions you don’t like.”
“You again, Linda? I thought I told you before, sweet cheeks. Security, take them both outside. And make sure to help get them sobered up when they’re out there. And don’t go easy on her–they wanna get equal treatment, right?”
Once the noise of the journalists getting dragged out of the room died down, the President nodded and lifted up his hand.
“Okay, we can keep going. Kelsey?”
“You are obviously a man who cherishes and protects American women. Where do you think that quality comes from?”
“That is a great question, Kelsey. Believe me when I say that…”
eurobrat 
06/12/2016 at 9:17 pm
You go that down perfect! It should be on video tape.
06/13/2016 at 10:06 am
Thank you! I got a little too in touch with my inner Trump while writing this–feel like I need to take a shower now 🙂
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06/13/2016 at 7:47 am
Great piece. Chilling. I’m sharing this on Facebooking reblogging it.
06/13/2016 at 10:05 am
Thank you so much! It was in the process of writing this–and listening to my inner Trump voice–that I truly realized how terrifying his presidency would be.
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06/13/2016 at 7:48 am
Reblogged this on Praying for Eyebrowz and commented:
Chilling bit of a wake up call. Read more at eurobrat.wordpress.com.
06/13/2016 at 10:32 am
It almost writes itself, doesn’t it?
And that alone is concerning. It’s all as simplistic, obvious & hostile as something out of Reality TV, or the Twit Zone (Hmm, coincidence?) And yet most of this goes right over the heads of most people. Even the people who aren’t in favour of the man still don’t get how this came to pass. Nor do they understand, or at least want to admit, their own role in his rise.
He is merely a symptom, not the disease.
06/13/2016 at 9:22 pm
Agreed. Our reality TV/social media culture has created Trump. Why have an election when you can have a TV show?
06/14/2016 at 1:30 pm
I don’t know what the stats are for those Reality TV competition votes. (Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if they get more votes than elections.) But I can guarantee you that more people would much rather vote for a Reality TV competition than an election.
And this time around, Reality TV fans will be the only ones actually excited about their “choice”. Everyone else would rather go to the dentist, than a voting booth.
06/15/2016 at 6:51 pm
I seem to remember that American Idol did get more votes in its heyday than the elections did…was not surprised to hear it. Although I’m okay with my choice this year…or at least relieved that this is my choice. And I don’t even watch that much reality TV…just Dancing with the Stars 😉
06/17/2016 at 2:24 pm
Yeah. Yeah. Everybody claims “I don’t watch too much Reality TV”. Just like crackheads claim “I don’t smoke too much crack”. The effects on the brain are about the same. But if nobody was watching this crap, it wouldn’t be on TV….or on this fall’s ballot.
I know that for some unknown reason (You’re a Surrender Monkey! 🙂 ), vous adorez la Hillary-Tron 2016. However, the key word here is “choice”. Just because you like the person the Democratic establishment forced upon you, it doesn’t mean you had a choice beyond “Like it. / Shut the hell up!”
Stepping into the ballot box come November, the “democratic” process has coughed up the 2 most hated candidates in history. Not many people like either option. I’m certain hardly anyone can honestly say they have an actual decision to make between the offerings of the 2 parties…certainly not one they’re happy with.
The only choices this time are:
1) Am I going to put up with the loser my party is force feeding me?
2) Am I going 3rd Party and vote for a guaranteed loser?
3) Am I going to stop voting altogether and become a loser myself?
It’s a real Sophie’s Choice. Thankfully, this Canuck doesn’t have to make it.
06/18/2016 at 11:24 am
I guess C-Span is also reality TV, so you might be correct. It’s true that for a lot of people I know this year’s election decision is very painful, and I feel for them.
And hey, you know where I live…if I was truly a surrender monkey, I would have turned Bernie supporter by now 🙂
06/23/2016 at 12:56 pm
You ain’t fooling anybody!
Your “resistance” is really just cover for your surrender to the stronger force. The kind of “surrender” to Sandernistas you propose would be like a citizen of Vichy France surrendering to the French Resistance because there are some Resistance supporters in their apartment building. (“French Resistance”…Ha! An oxymoron on par with “military intelligence”, or “American democracy”.)
Besides, what kind of total pussy is intimidated by a few bearded, pickle making, pacifists living in their mom’s basement? “Oh, that overall wearing fella who looks like an extra on The Waltons might shun me. Or worse yet, refuse to give me my milky, sugary, coffee fix! The horror! The horror!”
A little context, please. Do you think this pocket of Portlandian “bullies” would last a NY minute against the Hillary-Tron, her powerful pals at Gold Mansacks and all her Flying Death Robots? Just remember who you surrendered to, monkey 🙂 …the next Emperor of the most powerful Empire in human history!
The final outcome of this train wreck was decided YEARS before it began. It was essentially an inherited position. All that was left was the dog & pony show designed to fool the plebs into thinking a choice was involved…and the Circus Maximus finale against the evil clown.
Granted, it’s been entertaining. But like pro-wrestling, ultimately fixed.
(Note: While I’m having fun needling you, I’m mostly just filling space until your next effort is posted. So if you’re put off by any of it, sorry -eh? In the meantime, enjoy.)
06/23/2016 at 9:08 pm
Not put off by it at all….thank you for filling up space with such an elaborate, entertaining tale…which would make more sense to me, I guess, if I viewed Hillary as an enemy invading army akin to World War II Germans or Darth Vader’s stormtroopers. And of course, nobody’s really intimidated by Portland hipsters (except perhaps other Portland hipsters?). It’s not as if I fear they will make me sleep with the fishes for voting Hillary…it’s a much more simple and common fear. These fancy coffee-drinking pacifists are my friends, and I fear losing friendships, especially over a stupid, more-crazy-than-average election year.
Anyway, thanks again for picking up the slack for me around here. I’ll be going to a party this weekend with some of my favorite Bernie supporters 🙂
06/24/2016 at 1:26 pm
As I always say, “You should have listened to Sedate Me.”
I’m the guy who suggested voting for Bernie when it meant absolutely nothing! Because this race was more fixed than a low-level 1950’s prize-fight. Super-Delegates judged her the winner of the bout even before the venue for it was picked. The only way she could have lost was to have died of a heart attack from eating too many burritos (…which probably would have resulted in Bernie dying of a heart attack too).
That way, instead of grief, you could get credit for voting for Bernie from your cheese-making, hipster, pals as they drown their bitter sorrow in craft beer. Then you could vote for, not Vader, but Emperor Palpatine as she went into one-sided battle with the Evil Clown. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palpatine
(You’re welcome for the Star Wars induced web-traffic bump.)
But that aside, did you like the video? Apologizing is as Canadian as a mass shooting is American.
06/26/2016 at 9:44 pm
I get your point but, silly me, I still believe in that whole “be true to yourself” thing as opposed to just giving in to social pressure. Luckily, my friends accept me as I am.
And yes, the video was great. Canada sounds like the perfect country for me.
06/13/2016 at 2:42 pm
Have you seen the latest news? Trump has revoked press privileges for The Washington Post…
06/13/2016 at 4:08 pm
Wow. I really didn’t *want* for my post to be prophetic…so scary 😦
Date: Mon, 13 Jun 2016 21:42:56 +0000 To: missvixiev@hotmail.com
06/13/2016 at 4:09 pm
I’ve been sharing your post like crazy.
06/13/2016 at 4:13 pm
I so appreciate that. I literally cannot handle the thought of this guy becoming President.
Date: Mon, 13 Jun 2016 23:09:53 +0000 To: missvixiev@hotmail.com
06/14/2016 at 5:09 am
I woke from a bad dream the other night in which I’d calculated all the ways it could happen, that Trump could win.
06/14/2016 at 7:21 am
My leftie friends who threaten to write in Bernie or vote Jill Stein worry me. But I think most of them will change their minds once the election gets closer.
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06/14/2016 at 7:40 am
I worry about those types, too.
06/14/2016 at 12:48 pm
I don’t think there’s anything to worry about in Oregon.
In the Primary, the Hillary-Tron 2016 lost by over 12% to Bernie, getting only 44% of Democrats to vote for her. But she still wound up getting over 10,000 more votes than Trump. And thanks to vote-by-mail, most Republicans voted when it looked like Trump couldn’t clinch it, so they all turned up.
In all likelihood, Hillary doesn’t even need ONE single Bernie voter in Oregon. So, they can all vote Green, write-in Hulk Hogan, or stay home, if they want. As long as most Oregon Bernie voters don’t show up and vote FOR Trump, Hillary still has Oregon in the bag! Unless she just massively fucks up the election and loses it herself.
Or…the Super-Delegates at the Democratic convention could pick Bernie instead. Then the Democrats would get 100% of those Democratic voters and trump Trump in a 3 to 1 victory. 😉
06/15/2016 at 6:50 pm
I think you’re probably right that we don’t have anything to worry about here in Oregon. I also think that while Bernie would certainly win the presidency of the City of Portland by a 3 to 1 margin, he’d be lucky to win the general election at all.
06/24/2016 at 2:36 pm
I had a huge, fact filled, comment for the above thread, but it was far too long & wide to post. (“Too long & wide” happens to me all the time 😉 ) So to keep it short…
All evidence & logic indicates Bernie beats Trump even harder than Clinton will…which SHOULD be a “huuuuge” beating…unless she totally fucks it up….which would prove she really is a Democrat.
Because given the underlying. long term, demographic reality at the Presidential level, the Democrats should win this (and every Presidential election for the foreseeable future) if they nominated an actual donkey!
After all, who would be the bigger jackass in this election? The actual donkey, or Trump?
06/26/2016 at 9:37 pm
Mmmmm…depends on which evidence and logic. And naturally, it would be Trump.
06/27/2016 at 4:16 pm
Evidence wise…Every poll I can find puts Bernie further ahead of Trump than Hillary is. More importantly, there’s been some “battleground state” polls that make the difference more meaningful. States are where elections are won & lost, not national polls. (See: President Al Gore)
The reasoning is that Trump thrives on anger against “the status quo”, particularly with rust-belt types & white voters who’ve been left behind. And who is more status-quo than the Hillary-Tron 2016? The single biggest difference between her and status-quObama is that her jump-shot sucks! Because Bernie also appeals to Disgruntled Voters and does so in similar geographic locations, he nibbles away at Trump’s base support. Hillary doesn’t remotely appeal to ANY disgruntled voter. If anything, she makes them MORE disgruntled. So in a Hillary-Tron/Trump match-up, Trump will take those voters unopposed.
And that thinking makes a lot of sense to me. So far, millions of Disgruntled Voters have demonstrated they’re willing to put up with utter insanity & overt racism, if it means not getting stuck with the same ol’ shit. In fact, cornering this demographic is Trump’s ONLY “path to victory”. It’s a battlefront Rebel Bernie can fight on, but one Hillary can’t. Dislike for status-quo-Hillary is why Bernie got as far as he did and why he matches-up better against Trump.
Also in the Logic Dept…and this is a real no-brainer….Which Democratic candidate’s voters are more likely to stay home in November, if their candidate doesn’t get the nomination? Because Bernie draws in FAR more Non-voters & First Timers, it stands to reason a higher percentage of his voters won’t vote this time (if ever again) if Hillary gets the nomination. Then ask yourself, “Will even 1% of Hillary’s “pragmatic” voters refuse to vote if the Super-Delegates pick Bernie at the convention?”
But in the end, none of this matters, or ever mattered. That’s why my “last minute Super-Delegate switch” made such a good joke. (and good filler until your next story appears) This election was settled YEARS before it began. Unless Hillary proves herself a real Democrat and somehow fucks this can’t-lose election up, Trump has NO chance. But he would have even less chance against Bernie.
Actual Donkey 2016! Your only sane choice.
06/30/2016 at 8:39 pm
Meh. Polls don’t mean anything yet this early in the game. Sure, Bernie is scoring high in the polls…this is before the Republican ad campaign screaming that “he’s a socialist who’ll raise your taxes!” After that, he’d be lucky to win at all.
I also don’t think Bernie would get any of Trump’s disgruntled voters. These are completely different disgruntled voters. They love that he’s so “politically incorrect.” I don’t see them going with a leftie like Bernie.
Although you’re probably correct about the fact that the Bernie voters are more likely to take their marbles and go home on election day rather than vote. Not sure about how many Hillary voters would refuse to vote–I’ve tried to imagine what I would do if Bernie were the nominee, but it’s hard for me to say.
Anyway, as you say, the point is moot, as Bernie is no longer wagging his bony finger at us.
08/08/2016 at 11:24 pm
I just now read several of your posts. You have a great writing style and would create wonderful fiction. After reading the Press Conference I realized this is non-fiction and very scary stuff. I can only hope it turns out to be fiction.
08/09/2016 at 1:14 pm
Thank you for visiting! I love writing (although don’t have nearly enough time for it lately!). And yes, I hope the reality of this story remains safely where it belongs–within the confines of my blog.
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03/25/2017 at 9:52 am
The genes of a normal male have one Y chromosome for every X chromosome. Scientists have identified a strain of so-called ‘supermales’; superior men who have two Y chromosomes for every X. Donald Trump has forty-seven Y chromosomes. Admittedly that’s the total number in his entire body, but he’s still pretty damned witty. 🙂
03/25/2017 at 4:05 pm
Too funny! He’s got the best DNA. Just tremendous DNA.