It was true what they said–snooping doesn’t pay off. You get more pain than satisfaction out of it. But I just couldn’t help myself, could I?
I sit at the breakfast table, picking at my plate of eggs and sausage. He shuffles towards the coffee-maker, rumpled and yawning. The man I love. The man I know. The man I thought I knew.
But then I remember that I’ve seen his browsing history. The websites he went to late at night. Those pictures of strange men. I have to ask, even though I realize it will wreck everything.
“Honey, did…did you vote for Trump?”
He turns around and stares. “What?”
“Don’t lie. You’ve been reading Breitbart.”
“And you’ve been checking up on me.” With a sudden burst of energy, he strides out of the kitchen. “That’s an invasion of my privacy.”
“This is for your own good,” I plead, getting up and following him. “You’re only hurting yourself. The first step is to admit you have a problem.”
“I don’t have a problem. Conservatives have a right to their opinions, too, you know.”
Conservatives? But he’s a progressive! Or…I assumed he was a progressive, because, because…this is the twenty-first century! Everybody’s a progressive…right?
“What about the horrible things Trump said? About Mexicans, about…”
“Oh, come on. The things he said weren’t racist. He’s only getting bashed for saying them because he’s a white man.”
Oh, dear God. Not this shit.
“You don’t really think you’re oppressed, do you?”
“I’m not sure. I do know that everyone gets offended if I speak up about something. Does that qualify as oppression?”
Somehow, I should have seen this coming, and yet I’m so confused. “Okay, I promise I won’t get offended if you’re honest with me. Why did you vote for someone like Trump?”
“Well, all you hear about him on the fake media is the bad stuff. There are a lot of good things he’s doing.”
“Like what?”
“He drove the media insane, didn’t he? And the mainstream politicians. I loved the way he gave it to that one annoying guy on Twitter, what’s his name…”
“Those are not achievements! Attacking people is not an achievement.” I look down at the napkin I’m tearing into little pieces. “Would you ever attack someone like that? Call them names? I can’t imagine it.”
He shrugs and turns to the window.
I take a deep breath. I have to hear the very worst of it. “What about his comments about grabbing women by the pussy? Are you okay with that?”
Exasperated sigh. “Stupid boys talk…”
“He was talking about sexual assault!”
“Women are so sensitive. Everything is sexual assault these days.” He turns to face me for a moment. “Look, I don’t want to talk about this right now. And I’m not going to let you tell me what to think. I’m not a fucking cuck.” Then the bedroom door slams shut behind him.
We live in the same house. We sleep in the same bed. We’re a family. How did I miss this? What didn’t I notice?
Maybe we’re no longer really talking to each other, each of us focused on our own personal screen, posting our own version of the world. Too busy telling our story to listen.
I want to scream at him to go fuck himself. I want to walk away, but I can’t. Neither one of us can make it alone. We’ll have to find our way back to each other somehow.
Sooner or later, I’m gonna have to knock on that door.
eurobrat 
12/02/2017 at 4:25 pm
I’m still not sure my husband didn’t vote for trump. He’s not as political as I am, so we don’t talk about it.
12/03/2017 at 2:17 pm
Whoa! Are you serious? The couple in my story was more of a metaphor for the country. I know there are married couples out there who voted for different candidates, but I kind of assumed people talked about it to each other!
12/03/2017 at 2:44 pm
Not in my house—not if I want peace.
12/04/2017 at 8:56 pm
Oh my. I can completely understand the “keeping the peace” part, though. Feel free to tell me if I’m crossing the line in asking this…how would you react if Studly ever just said “Yeah, I voted for Trump”? Knowing how much you hate the guy….
12/05/2017 at 4:31 am
I’ve asked myself that question. I’m not sure how I’d react at this point.
12/05/2017 at 8:25 am
Sounds fair and honest.
Sent from my iPhone
12/14/2017 at 4:39 pm
Poignant. You have brought out a real life situation really well. Regards. 🙂
12/14/2017 at 7:00 pm
Thank you, sir! It is always nice to have you visit 🙂
12/17/2017 at 5:28 am
My Dear EB, I feel bad bec I have so little time, that is keeping in mind my age and the energy it leaves me. Otherwise I would be visiting Your site More. It is worth it!
Hearty Regards. 🙂
12/19/2017 at 9:25 pm
Don’t feel bad! I’ve been having trouble finding time to blog and to read blogs myself. It’s a hectic life we’ve made for ourselves nowadays 🙂
12/20/2017 at 4:19 am
Wise words, and good ones. 🙂
12/17/2017 at 12:08 pm
Great stuff. (Kinda redundant) Reminds me of an old Canuckistan play where a husband & wife are on opposite sides of the Quebec Separatist debate.
“It was true what they said–snooping doesn’t pay off. You get more pain than satisfaction out of it. But I just couldn’t help myself, could I?”
All snooping does is give you:
A) something you can never “un-see”.
B) a self-feeding paranoia. You know “it’s true”, but you just haven’t caught them yet. So you have to snoop even harder. Presumed guilt that inevitably results in…
“And you’ve been checking up on me.” With a sudden burst of energy, he strides out of the kitchen. “That’s an invasion of my privacy.”
Unfortunately, being a dumb-ass is a constitutionally protected right…unlike privacy. People feel entitled to poke around in everybody’s everything these days.
We live in an error when nobody is a “stupid fucking moron” anymore. No matter how stupid, or evidence free, their opinion is… the thing in their hand will instantly confirm they are right. No need to think, reflect, or anything else un-American. Stupidity, even among “smarter than average” people, is rampant…and downright promoted by people, politicians and corporations looking to use it to their own advantage/profit.
Maybe we’re no longer really talking to each other, each of us focused on our own personal screen, posting our own version of the world. Too busy telling our story to listen.
In this case, even your (fictitious?) partner can -right under your nose- be a Bite-fart fan and a Trump-voting ass-clown who thinks anything in The Twit Zone matters for shit…Or at least “right under the phone that’s right under your nose”.
12/19/2017 at 9:35 pm
I should emphasize, the story is definitely fictitious. If my current partner is a secret Trump fan, he’s doing a hell of a job covering that up, judging from his frequent snarky mockery of the Cheeto in chief. I would have a very difficult time sharing my home with a Trump voter.
And no, snooping isn’t worth it, and you never find out anything you would like to see.
Thank you for reading 🙂
12/20/2017 at 11:13 am
Yes, I’m one of the ever-shrinking number that can still read and I enjoy visiting websites written by the ever-shrinking number of people who can still write. 🙂
But never be too sure about a partner. You just can’t completely trust ANYONE these days…not even yourself! (urge control, unthinking/manipulated decisions, etc) Remember, it’s still a secret ballot…even though I’ve heard the Russians had control over at least some polling stations.
Your dude could have been one of those disgruntled Portlandian Bernie Bro’s who did something behind the curtain he may later have regretted. And I’m not talking about “pulling a Louis C.K.”…or maybe I am.
He could also be boning the neighbour. But that’s of far lesser consequence than putting Trump in the White House. I mean, the entire point of having a stupid-phone is to arrange neighbourhood hook-ups. Any man with one is at least “checking out the market”. I’ve heard tale of men doing this while in the same room as their partner. Sadly, perfectly “normal” behaviour in 2017. As “normal” as a Trump in the White House bathroom cranking out “news” at both ends. Coincidence? Me thinks not.
12/21/2017 at 11:51 am
The funny thing is, the man in question doesn’t own a smart phone.
However, any relationship means taking a risk. I know this. But sometimes, it’s a risk worth taking 🙂
12/24/2017 at 1:01 pm
No smart phone? I like him already.
03/11/2018 at 5:12 am
Loved the metaphorical plot. There are so many things you can say as a fiction writer, which is why I love writing in that format. Especially in this new world where even alphabet letters can be triggers. (See China and the letter “N”). Best of luck out there, Eurobrat.
03/11/2018 at 11:47 am
Thank you so much for reading! I agree about the fiction writing–I’ve fallen in love with writing political fiction. As you say, so much can be said with a metaphor.
03/12/2018 at 4:52 pm
You’re amazing at it. I’ve been by to catch up on my reading. Please keep up the good work. xoxo
03/14/2018 at 8:17 pm
Awwwww, thank you so much 🙂 I appreciate you spending your time here!!