Denial:  “I don’t really have to dress up, right?”

Anger:  “Why do I have to have such creative friends?  Human ouija boards?  Slutty Eeyore?  1920s-era gender-switched versions of Star Wars characters?  Do they seriously think I’m going to spend weeks making my costume?”

Bargaining:  *rifling through closets* “If I wear that old Christmas sweater with the gypsy skirt and beret, would that constitute a costume?”

Regret:  “Why didn’t I just get the devil horns?  Devil horns go with everything.  If I put devil horns together with a suit, I could go as Congress…”

Acceptance:  “So, the witch hat it is again.”

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North Korea made itself look ridiculous (as usual) when its news agency announced back in November that an ancient unicorn lair was located in Pyongyang.  In Korean legend, the unicorn was ridden by King Tongmyong, and the discovery of the lair proved, according to the KCNA’s propaganda, that Pyongyang was once the capital city of Ancient Korea.

Thankfully, American conservatives are not the North Korean Communist regime, but they are on a similar unicorn quest these days, willing to believe anything which supports their theories and discard any facts which stand in the way.  They would rather be convinced that Obama stole the election than examine the reasons why they lost it.  They claim Hillary didn‘t resign, but was “fired“ because of Benghazi.  They really think the American public is clamoring for the Paul Ryan budget.  As long as it states that they are good and Obama is evil, any crazy hypothesis will work.

Even for a liberal like me, it’s too painful to watch–not to mention that it makes any kind of reasoned debate impossible.  Come back to reality, conservatives.  Listen to Bobby Jindal and don’t be the “stupid party”.  Hint:  unicorns don’t exist.