Yes, a few weeks later CNN is still talking about the plane.  More panels of experts explaining to us that they have no idea what happened, more viewer e-mails speculating about what the official investigation may have missed (“Why isn’t anyone exploring the Jodi Arias angle?”).

Which makes me wonder, what happens if the plane is never found?  Will the coverage just go on indefinitely?  Years from now, will an elderly Anderson Cooper still be debating the merits of the “zombie plane” theory?  Will a senile Don Lemon continue playing with his plastic jumbo jets?  And in a few decades, that cockpit simulator should be even cooler.

But then I remind myself that at some point in the future, there will be another murder trial.  There is always another murder trial.  Anything to keep from reporting on serious news.

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Okay, enough with the breaking news coverage of the missing Malaysian airplane already.  Not that this isn’t a tragedy and a huge mystery all wrapped into one–it definitely is.  But we’ve now had several days of wall to wall coverage of a story we don’t really have any information about.  So what we get is a parade of experts (read: people who once flew on a plane) theorizing about what might have happened in a hypothetical universe, and we get CNN’s Don Lemon playing with a plastic toy Boeing that’s “exactly” like the real one.  Who wouldn’t love that gig?  If I have to hear the words “All right, good night” one more time, I’m going to take a U-turn into the ocean myself.  Nobody knows if those words mean anything, nobody knows if they’re important or not.  And I can’t see how endlessly dissecting half-imagined facts is helping those who have loved ones missing in this disaster.

I finally had to turn the television off when one of the hosts shared this gem with the audience:  “And this shows that whatever happened, happened.”  Thank you for your deep insights, news media.  How did we ever make it through crisis situations without you?