I hear a lot about the real America. I’m told it’s a very particular kind of place. It’s the heartland with its God-fearing and armed Christians which is the real America. Not the perverted coasts. Not elitist New York or liberal Hollywood.

Problem is, I love the fake America. I’m an immigrant–I know, we’re not quite as fashionable as we used to be–and I definitely didn’t come here for the real America. If I wanted to be surrounded by farms and church-goers, I could’ve stayed in rural Eastern Europe. Those of us around the world who dream of America dream of a glamorous and exciting place. I dreamed of the land of skyscrapers and city skylines, of jazz and rap. I didn’t think of Americans as people who followed conservative tradition, I thought of them as people who outraged their elders by doing inappropriate dances, and doing them with inappropriate dance partners. My parents imitated Americans with jeans and hippie hair and rock’n’roll. When we lived behind the Iron Curtain and we fantasized about the States, we didn’t fantasize about being a televangelist (except maybe for their wealth).

Our patriotic pundits like to remind us that America is exceptional. I agree that it is. But if it looked like they wish it did, it wouldn’t be exceptional at all. There are already plenty of narrow-minded and theocratic places on this planet–there’s no need for more. There’s not nearly enough of the mixed-up and the crazy and the sinful. Those are the parts of America I love the most. And I hope that God or Goddess will continue to bless them for many years to come.

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We all like to think we’re special, even if we don’t want to admit that we think we’re special.  And as much as I detest the ideas it stands for, this is part of the reason conservative talk radio has been so successful.  It makes Americans listening to it feel that the beliefs they hold make them special and set them apart from the rest of the country.

Glenn Beck is a master at this.  I’ve listened to him again recently, and it’s amazing how talented he is at what he does.  Human beings, especially in a world as fast-paced and confusing as ours, have a deep desire for meaningful existence, and Glenn plays that desire like a boss.  He tells his followers that they are soldiers in a war.  He tells them that God created them for a purpose.  No matter how small and insignificant they might feel, they have a job to do.  They were meant to be here to help the cause.  Now, “helping the cause” usually means sending money to Glenn and purchasing something he is selling, but that’s just how this higher cause works–it needs your cash.

So, slimy and manipulative in the worst way?  Yep, but I can’t completely knock that kind of evil genius.  If only I was as good at using my dark superpowers, and with the same financial results!

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Some think lightning striking the Vatican was a sign of God’s wrath over Pope Benedict’s resignation.  I say the gods were throwing a party, celebrating that this conservative Pope is finally leaving.  Although my hopes for his replacement being any better are very slim!

There has been much doubt and questioning of President Obama’s religious faith, even though he has professed many times to be a believing Christian.  According to some critics, he doesn’t go to church often enough, doesn’t flaunt his religion enough, and has made the serious mistake of not using the phrase “born again”.

As far as his Christianity goes, I will have to take the President’s word for it.  But I have to say that I’m okay with having a man in the White House who is uncertain about his beliefs once in a while.  And as someone who also worships the Divine, I’m grateful to God for saving us from those who are too confident about their faith.  I fear the people who think they have a personal phone line to God, those who are so sure that God shares their opinions, they believe that anyone who disagrees is lost and has to be forcibly rescued.

So thanks be to God for protecting us from those who are too sure of themselves.  Those who are so sure of what a woman’s place in this world should be, they are willing to tell women to surrender to their nature.  Those who are so sure they know that life begins at conception, they would put their signature on a bill which would outlaw even certain forms of contraception.  Those who are so sure that love can only exist in one form, they would forbid any other kind of it.  Those who know that this world was meant to be a special gift from God just for them, so that they are free to bomb people in other countries, kill off animals and use up its resources as they wish.  And of course, those who are sure that the poor and sick and weak are guilty of some sin which caused them to be in that situation–not being confident enough, perhaps?–so they have permission from God to be completely merciless to them.

President Obama is by no means perfect, and I’m not always happy with his policies.  My own liberal views turn out to be flawed and incorrect sometimes.  And that is why I would rather have someone in office who is imperfect and realizes it, than a perfect believer who doesn’t realize the size of the beam he’s got in his own eye.

So this is a good sign for the Obama campaign–conservatives are nervous enough that they’ve started talking to God.  A Utah woman named Mona Williams is calling for a day of fasting for Romney this Sunday.  She states that she is “frustrated” with the direction the country is heading in and asks that people fast and pray for Mitt to be “blessed in the debates”.  She’s not the only one.  I was watching Glenn Beck’s show a few days ago on his new channel, and he was exhorting his followers to fall on their knees and cry out to God about the election.

First of all, what does it say about Mitt’s skill and charisma that he needs divine intervention for the debates?  Overall, though, this is encouraging to hear.  Conservatives are starting to acknowledge that Obama could very well win re-election.  I’m no longer hearing them claim that the President is unpopular with the general public.  Now their theory seems to be that people have been deceived, and they’re praying that a miracle will turn this around.

Naturally, they’re making a huge assumption–that God is on their side.  Beyond the most basic questions–Does God exist?  Is He an automatic supporter of the Mormon Church, or any other church?–even the views within the LDS Church are divided.  Some Mormons are big believers in helping the poor and did not appreciate Mitt’s “47%” comments.  In fact, if Mitt gets elected President, he will join a ward in Washington DC in which most members are Obama supporters.

So if divine intervention does get involved, who knows which way it will go?  Personally, I believe we are the ones who are responsible for who gets elected, but if I decided to meditate to the Goddess, I know it would be for a completely different election result than Mona Williams.