Somewhere, in the darkest of night, Jeb and Hillary are curled up in a ball, having a panic attack.  If they were not avowed political adversaries, they would be hugging each other to ease the trauma.  I want to find out where they are.  I want to find out where they are, so I can curl up in the fetal position next to them, because I’m just as anxious about the primaries.

This is not going to be a good election year for moderates like me.  I can already tell.  This is not the year of the negotiating, calculating political animal.  I thought America during the early Obama years was not a place for middle of the road compromise, but now it’s even less so.

In a way, we’ve gotten what we deserve.  I remember joking about this with my family a couple of years back.  “Oh, 2016 is going to be so boring!  Bush vs. Clinton!  Yawn!”  Well, we wished for interesting and we certainly got it, did we ever.  We didn’t want another Bush, so instead we get the complete nutjob Trump.  We didn’t want Hillary again, so instead we get a democratic socialist calling for a revolution.

Revolution.  Funny word, that.  It’s a very exciting word to shout at rallies–I can say that from experience.  But when there’s a risk of it actually happening, my resolve starts to wane.  I do realize that Bernie is promising a political revolution, not a literal one with guillotines.  But the truth is, my family and I have built a good life for ourselves here in the States, and I’d rather avoid anything that would disrupt that too much or turn our lives upside down.

So besides the fact that I’ve turned out to be a bit of a fraud as far as my political activism goes, what are my options now?  Bernie’s too much for me, but people don’t seem to like Hillary.  Is Bloomberg really going to be a candidate?  Can we still somehow force Joe Biden to run?

What will most likely happen is quite simple.  If we end up with a Bernie vs. Trump match-up, the alternative of Trump in the White House will be unthinkable for me.  So I’ll hold my nose and vote for Bernie–and hope that someday, somewhere in the course of the election zodiac cycle, the Year of the Moderate will be back.

The people of New York have had a mixed bag response to Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s tenure now that he’s transitioned back into civilian life.  On the one hand, a recent Quinnipiac poll shows that 64% of New Yorkers think Mayor Bloomberg was a success.  However, 57% of the city’s residents also think Bloomberg’s ban on large sodas should not be continued.

This confirms something we already know about ourselves as Americans.  You can be a friend of the rich like Bloomberg or try to redistribute wealth like de Blasio, but for the love of God, let us be fat.  We’re already being used and abused like we’re in a dysfunctional marriage, so at least let us have our super sized soft drinks.  I’m no exception to this.  I’m far from obese, but my right to consume sweets and chips is the reward I get for sacrificing most of my life to my corporate job.  So, while I’ve handed almost everything else over to those in power–woe to the person who dares touch my snacks.  This is about freedom, after all!  Well, my freedom to overeat, anyway.

Now, I don’t necessarily agree with Bloomberg’s rules about soda.  But still.