I’m not sure I can handle it.

The trashy pink lights. The corny classic rock soundtrack. And oh, those horrible performers.

There’s Hillary, sitting on a potential donor’s lap. “See? I can be warm and friendly,” she murmurs.

Meanwhile, Jeb Bush and Scott Walker are working the pole, gyrating their hips as hard as they can, while the Koch brothers make it rain cash on the stage. Maybe they’ll get more money if they make out with each other?

Poor Chris Christie is sitting at a table alone, all forlorn in his bra and garter belt. Nobody cares about him anymore.

And off in a dark corner of the club, Rand Paul is doing his own weird dance. Only a few are turned on by him–those who are into the kinky masochistic fantasy of living in a pure libertarian state.

Watching this spectacle doesn’t exactly cause feelings of arousal. It’s more of a mixture of disgust, despair, and a complete loss of self-respect. But this is the best we can do, or so we’re told.

Yeah, the 2016 election season…it’s going to be the worst striptease ever.

The NSA scandal has messed everything up.  I’m accustomed to all the usual suspects supporting each other on their respective sides of the battle, but alliances are splitting up on both the left and right, and my political spidey sense is going out of whack.

Now Rand Paul is getting ready to file a civil suit against the NSA, and he will find support for this action from both the ACLU and–if it gets to the Supreme Court–from a sympathetic Sonia Sotomayor.  This has to be the first time I have ever seen an article from a Cato Institute author praising Justice Sotomayor for anything she’s done.  Sen. Paul disagrees with fellow Republicans like Rubio and McConnell about this, but does agree with Michael Moore.

Even worse, I find myself agreeing with Rand Paul and disagreeing with President Obama in this situation.  Time for cats and dogs to start mating, and the Apocalypse to happen.