Turns out that scientists have been unable to find any trace of time travellers on the Internet.  I know–I didn’t realize there were scientists looking for signs of online time travel, either.  Physicists at Michigan Technological University decided to adopt the strategy of coming up with two phrases–“Pope Francis” and “Comet Ison”–that were not in popular use before 2012 or 2013, and Googling for any earlier use of these words, to see if a time traveller may have been dropping hints on the Internet.

But nope, nothing.  So either time travel doesn’t exist, or our future selves are so spiritually enlightened that we no longer waste our time endlessly surfing the Web.  Since that second option is unlikely, I’ll go with “time travel doesn’t exist”.  Unless whoever travelled in time just didn’t care about either Pope Francis or comet Ison.  Maybe they were too busy predicting the rise of twerking?

Looks like we’ve got no time travelling, no prophecy–we’re stuck with the good old-fashioned method of guessing what will happen.  Some of our guesses are pretty good.  Presenting this article from back in 2004: 

Remember the name Barack Obama. You’ll be hearing it a lot as this election season unfolds.

Mr. Obama, a Democrat, is tall, thin, youthful and very smart, and he’s running (sometimes literally, depending on the schedule) for a U.S. Senate seat from Illinois.

He’s got a million-dollar smile and he’s charismatic. At the moment he has a substantial lead in the polls. If that lead holds and he wins in November, he’ll be only the third African-American to take a seat in the Senate since Reconstruction.

His partisans describe Mr. Obama as a dream candidate, the point man for a new kind of politics designed to piece together a coalition reminiscent of the one blasted apart by the bullet that killed Robert Kennedy in 1968.

The article describes Barack Obama as the future of politics, but doesn’t get everything right.  The hilarious part of the prediction is that Obama will help the country’s politics be less divisive….I think the writer may have been overestimating the sanity of our nation.  Well, nobody is going to guess correctly 100% of the time…unless you are a time traveller reading this, in which case, tell us what the hell happens with Ted Cruz?

 

After catching up on my science news tonight, I can understand why some of my conservative religious friends don’t like science very much.  One of the articles told me that we exist inside a huge black hole.  Another one proposed the theory that we are just imaginary holograms.  And that wasn’t half as scary as reading about the reality of what is happening to our climate, and of what might happen to our crops and food supply.

So I’m almost ready to do as the Christian conservatives do and ditch scientific thinking altogether.  Now, instead of looking forward to the weather spinning out of control, I can dream about the Rapture, in which I will be magically airlifted out of any future problems.  Instead of fearing a world war, I can welcome it–it’s a necessary precursor to Armageddon, after all.  And who doesn’t want Armageddon?  If the Bible seems a little antiquated, I can always substitute the kindly guidance of aliens, which will culminate in a moment of global enlightenment in December 2012.  Either way, I will know what to expect, as opposed to feeling like I’m getting tossed here and there in a dark universe.  Take those scientists and burn them at the stake, like we used to!  They make me nervous.

Unfortunately, I’m a little too creative and too easily distracted, which means I will never be able to stick to one theology for very long.  My attempt at staying inside the safety of that box is doomed from the start.  That’s okay–there’s more than enough beauty in this chaotic universe to keep me going.