3 AM Conversations With Christian Nationalism

If you don’t want to get pregnant, you should keep your legs closed.

Fine.  I’ll keep my legs closed.

Why do you hate men so much?  You’re going to die alone with your wine and your cats.

I don’t hate men.  I’m just trying not to get pregnant.

It’s your fault that we don’t get enough sex.  It’s your fault that we have to turn into angry, violent incels.

What?  How is that my fault?

Don’t get so emotional about it.  You snowflakes always get triggered.

Well, what happens if I do get pregnant?

I suppose you will have to make the difficult choice to have the baby.  But don’t worry–it will turn out to be a beautiful blessing in the end!

Okay…what if I only have sex with women?  Maybe that way I will never need an abortion.

Yeah…now you’re definitely going to hell.

Why?  I’m a free American making responsible choices.  Isn’t that what we’re all about–freedom?

Not THAT kind of freedom.

What kind of freedom, then?

We offer you the freedom to live up to your fullest potential as a woman, as a wife and mother.  The one true way for you to find happiness.

I’ve known plenty of married mothers who were not happy.

They’re just not very good at practicing gratitude.  That’s not our problem.  They need to learn to be grateful for what they’ve been given.

What if they didn’t want this?  What if they didn’t want children?

If they didn’t want children, they should’ve kept their legs closed…

I need a drink.

 

Happy New Fear

New Year’s Day is supposed to be an opportunity to turn over a new leaf. Sure, we all know the change is only symbolic…but, if nothing else, it provides an excuse for us to express some optimism about what the future might bring.

Well, not so much this time around. It’s been a while since I’ve seen people be this worried and apprehensive about the new year–it’s shades of 2020, except on steroids. I would say it’s the sense of looming disaster…except that wouldn’t be exactly true…it’s the sense of multiple looming disasters. Really big ones. There’s been a weird dissonance between watching the typical TV New Year’s Eve celebrations, with cities around the world putting on their fireworks and laser lights and drone formation displays and party music soundtracks…and then turning to the others around the table and getting back to the conversation of “Yeah. It’s going to be bad, isn’t it? It’s going to be bad.”

My family, both my parents and my extended family in Poland, are justifiably worried about the international situation. Will the war in Ukraine continue to painfully grind on? Or will there be a decisive breakthrough? God forbid, will the decisive breakthrough be in favor of Russia? Will a GOP President who doesn’t give a fuck about Ukraine or NATO get elected? If so, what happens to Ukraine…and then what happens to the other nations in the region?

Then there is my sister-in-law, who is thinking about going back to school–in Ireland. And a large part of the reason she wants to do so is because she doesn’t want to be here in the States during the latter part of the election year. Now, I should add that she is a tough woman and has been a political activist for many years, so she is not the type to be easily frightened or driven into apathy. But as she said to us, there is something about the prospect of her own American tribe turning on itself that she can’t stand–as she put it, she would rather be a visitor in someone else’s shitshow.

But when I started talking to a friend about the upcoming election last night, she said that wasn’t what she worried about the most. ”It’s the weather shifts,” she said. Yeah, the weather weirding has been getting worse, and will continue to get worse. Check. 

As for me, I’ve been bundled up on the couch today, reading Rachel Maddow’s Prequel, a Christmas gift from Hubby. It can be a very depressing story–as an immigrant from Europe, I was perhaps a little naive about just how many supporters of fascism there have been in modern American history. Yikes. But it’s also an inspiring story. It’s full of ordinary Americans who stood up to their local Nazis and stopped them from realizing their horrifying plans.

2024 could be like that for a lot of us. The rhetoric coming from the Orange Jesus and his followers is becoming ever more deranged and frightening. This is clearly not going to be the year I decide to quit alcohol or chocolate–Lord knows I’m going to need both of them. But it is the year we’re all going to have to make the New Year’s resolution to get involved, especially in our state and local politics, getting out the vote and supporting candidates. Forget the fad diets. This is way more important.

Is it going to be difficult? Is it going to be scary at times? Yes, yes, it is. I can practically feel myself chewing my nails already. But that is the state of the world right now, and denial won’t help. 

My hope is that if we work and fight against the darkness, we will be able to wish each other a sincere Happy 2025 next year, without either the crippling anxiety or the bleak sarcasm.

For now, wishing you all as much joy as you can find in 2024, and strength for the year ahead.

 

Confessions of a NIMBY

It’s a story which plays out all across the country–or at least, in the bigger cities and towns. A neighborhood full of “In Our America” signs and progressive blue voters. These same progressives love to proclaim their compassion for the homeless and the urgent need for affordable housing. They’re all in favor of it! Until…it shows up where they live. Then, suddenly, the residents are up in arms. Hence, the name NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard).

In typical leftie fashion, I used to do my share of finger-wagging and moralizing about such people. What hypocrisy! Until…the same thing happened in my neighborhood, and I turned into a NIMBY in the blink of an eye.

A few years ago, the county where I live and the city which borders our subdivision approved a large affordable housing complex, to be built on the thoroughfare near our house. I first learned about this proposal from people screaming about it on Nextdoor–that toxic pit of local “information.” To say that the Nextdoor view of the project was negative would be an understatement. I wish I could say I spoke up for the urgent need for affordable housing in our area–which is desperately needed in the overpriced city of Portland.

But I didn’t. Instead, I testified against the development at City Council meetings, wrote letters, and participated in the Nextdoor firestorm of negativity. I even canvassed door to door to convince my neighbors what a bad idea this was.

Mind you, the official reason for all this activity on my part was not because I was opposed to low-income housing in my neighborhood. At least, I never would have admitted to that. One of the reasons for the opposition to the project was that in return for putting in affordable apartments, the developer was given a break from local regulations and would not have to put in as many parking spaces as usually required. Now, it’s true that this chaps my hide to this day. Not only because it did cause more parked cars to spill out onto our streets, but also because it feels wrong for the developer to be getting special perks, when the developers are such a big part of the housing problem. But really, that is not nearly as important as the housing emergency in our city.

The other complaint was that the development would clash with the character of the neighborhood, seeing as how this was a multi-story building plunked down among single-family homes. I would say that some of the long-time residents who had lived here back when it was still farmland were justified in grumbling about this, but it was pretty rich coming from someone like me who had spent years whining about how our suburb wasn’t urban enough.

Now, let me emphasize that I’m only speaking for myself here. I don’t want to cast aspersions on any of my neighbors or guess at their motivations. I can only say that when I scratch the surface of my objections and delve a little deeper, I start finding some pretty unsavory, classist stuff in my subconscious–such as, expectations of what would happen if a bunch of “those low-income people” moved in around the block. Looking back at my fears, they were pretty vague, and I’m not sure exactly what I expected would happen. More crime? More litter? Some other thing that might bring down our property values?

Well, it’s now a few years later, and I was wrong. We like living here just fine. There is more traffic, yes, but that was to be expected with how fast the population in our area is growing. Crime did go up for a while, but this was apparently connected to a homeless encampment down the road–so, people who COULDN’T get housing. There are more cars parked on our street, but also more families with kids from the apartment complex strolling down our sidewalks and enjoying our flowers.

I can’t take back my negative reaction or my activism against my new neighbors finding a place to live. All I can do is to resolve to support any future affordable housing which might be coming to our burb–and to encourage my readers to do the same wherever they live. On the flip side of the coin…I would also encourage people not to be too quick to finger-wag and judge about what you would never, ever do. We’re all human, and you never know when you might turn into the person you don’t like, more quickly than you suspect.

 

My 2024 Ukraine Test

Everyone seems to have their own issues and doubts about Joe Biden: everything from worries about his age and health, to frustrations that he isn’t progressive enough, and so on. But say what you will about his flaws–one of the main reasons I will be voting for him in 2024, and helping with his campaign effort, is his steadfast support of Ukraine.

I wish there were other candidates I could trust to stand with Ukraine and its self-defense against the Russian invasion, but I can’t. Some of the Republicans running have voiced strong support for Ukraine, but they are likely not the top contenders and don’t stand a chance. Meanwhile, Trump is well-known for his weird affection for Putin. When I listened to a recent Trump rally speech, he gloated that with him in power, the Ukraine situation would be over immediately…and then proceeded to talk glowingly about how he and Vladimir Putin had a great friendship when he was in office. So yeah. The situation would be over quickly, perhaps, just not in a good way. And DeSantis sounds like he is firmly in the QAnon Caucus camp when it comes to this issue, and would try to cut funding for Ukraine.

Likewise, I don’t trust any of the Democratic (although are they really?) and third-party contenders challenging Biden. RFK Jr is full-on conspiracy theory when it comes to this…and, well, everything else. He has gone so far as to regurgitate Putin’s “Russia was provoked into this!” propaganda. Marianne Williamson wants to focus on and invest in peace-building, which is admirable, but not always realistic in the world we live in, and definitely not realistic for this situation. I have to admit I haven’t delved into Dr. Cornel West’s candidacy like I should, and I do have a lot of respect for him, but apparently one of the things he has criticized Biden for is his militarism, so that leads me to suspect we would not see eye to eye on this one.

Now, I will say that the reason why this is one of my top issues in the election is because I’m Eastern European, and most of my family lives in a nation right next to Ukraine. The more power and territory Russia gains in that part of the world, the worse and more dangerous it will become for people in Poland, including the people I know and love over there. And I can certainly understand why for many American voters, this will not be a top issue. Although I would argue that in the end, Ukraine winning this fight is in America’s national interest. Russia having more influence and leverage in Europe will affect the power balance in the world in a negative way. America has played the isolationism card before, and it has come back to bite us–we ended up having to get involved in the conflict anyway, which by then had gotten far larger, more deadly and more expensive.

So this is what I will be looking at when I plan to vote in 2024. Do I wish I had more choices, more candidates to pick from who were strongly pro-Ukraine? Yes, I do, but elections and the choices we get are usually imperfect. I give credit to Joe for handling a dangerous and delicate international situation well, and unless something truly drastic happens, he will have my vote in 2024.

 

Stupidity…In All Its Forms

Because I’m a sucker for punishment, I listened to the first House of Representatives session of the new Congress a few days ago. Our country is grappling with so many problems right now: We have hit the debt ceiling. Mass shootings continue to be out of control. Breakfast restaurants can’t afford to buy eggs. What would the priority be for the recently elected Republican majority? I didn’t expect anything brilliant from this crowd–but they did run for office griping about inflation and national security and the border, so I was curious which of these topics they would take up to start with.

Aaaaaand…the very first thing they voted on was a resolution condemning socialism.

Now, on the surface, the Republicans made this sound like a vote that would be difficult to disagree with. After all, you don’t want to be on the same side as Stalin, Pol Pot or Kim Jung Un, right? (Although those are all Communist states, and despite what right-wing media might have you believe, Communism and socialism are not the same thing. So right off the bat, this resolution is sowing confusion.) So then why were all the Democrats voting against the resolution? By golly, is it because they are secretly trying to turn America into North Korea? I’m sure that is what Fox News would like us to think.

But then you look more closely and things are no longer so obvious. This resolution condemns socialism…”in all its forms.” Hmmmm, what does that mean, exactly? The definition of socialism, for the American right-wing, has always been very broad. Any government program, especially if it helps the poor, is automatically socialist. During the pandemic, wearing masks was somehow Communism. Still having trouble understanding that one.

And when a Democratic legislator introduced an amendment to the resolution clarifying that Social Security and Medicare are not socialism, and therefore should not be subject to condemnation, the Republicans voted the amendment down.

Sneaky, sneaky, those Republicans. Kind of inept about it, since it’s so easy to see right through them, but still. Any GOP suggestions of cutting Social Security, Medicare, and even the ACA have been incredibly unpopular with the American people, and that includes Republican Americans. Are they trying to change our minds by subtly implying that these social programs belong in the same category as Stalinism? I don’t think it’s going to work, but it won’t be for lack of effort from the Freedom Caucus.

And yes, the other vote the Republicans engaged in on that same day, was the vengeful pettiness of voting Rep. Ilhan Omar off the Foreign Affairs Committee. A whole different bucket of stupid and hypocritical right there.

On the plus side, the House GOP has given me a great idea. I have a credit card bill due this month, but I’m sure my bank will be fine with me not paying it, as long as I send them a strongly worded statement about how much I love liberty and despise socialism in all its forms, right? That should solve all of my life problems.

Hold on to your seats, everyone. We are in for a couple of dumb and useless years in the House…and we haven’t even started the endless Hunter Biden hearings yet.

 

Herding Cats And Democrats

This weekend, I was part of an email exchange in my state Democratic Party. Aaaaand…it never fails. Somebody started bitching that someone wasn’t attending enough meetings. Someone else called the complainer disrespectful, and off we went. The initial topic of the email thread–trying to make meeting information more accessible on the party website–got completely lost, and wasn’t addressed again until much later.

On that same day, I attended training to be an election observer in my county. Our trainer’s warning could not have been more stark. For the first time ever, he told us, he believed that intentional disruptions to the election process were likely. Disruptions like intimidation of voters, protests in front of election offices, even rioting. We received safety instructions for what to do if we were threatened by violent MAGAs during our shift.

(By the way, if you have a chance to volunteer to be an election observer in your local area, do it! It’s more important than ever.)

It’s a cliche to say that working with Democrats is a bit like herding cats…but it’s a cliche because it’s true. Our meetings always take way longer than expected, because we don’t just bicker about the issues we’re voting on, we bicker endlessly about what the voting process should be. Our party is full of lively and big personalities, which is part of what makes it so much fun. And no, we don’t fall in line easily.

That is all well and good, but it’s also true that we really are in a battle for our democracy. For the first time since I arrived in this country, I’m genuinely worried that our election system will not survive the next couple of cycles–that we will see political violence, that MAGA candidates will refuse to concede, and state legislatures will overturn election results.

So we can’t afford the petty in-fighting. Yes, people on our own side will disagree with us, and yes, people can be difficult to work with. That is not relevant right now. We need to set that aside and focus on what matters–supporting our candidates and making sure they’re elected, putting our message out there, and getting out the vote, while simultaneously keeping an eye out for any voter suppression shenanigans.

The extreme right-wing is organizing and preparing for its assault on our institutions and our republic. Will we be able to unite and oppose this assault, or will we continue hurling finger-wagging emails at each other?

Eyes on the prize, Democrats!

 

Why Is The January 6th Commission Important?

In case anyone is wondering why, in a time of inflation, endless mass shootings and baby formula shortages, the January 6th commission still matters?

It matters because this could happen again. A precedent was set in 2020 that the candidate who loses an election does not need to accept the results, and a peaceful transfer of power doesn’t need to take place. The candidate can simply say he still won, and send a bunch of his angry supporters into the Capitol, threatening to hang the legislators they think should vote differently.

This time the attempt to assassinate legislators and execute a coup was stopped–thank goodness. But what if it’s tried again the next election, and the one after that?

I grew up in an authoritarian regime, in which elections still took place, but the results didn’t matter. The candidates were selected ahead of time. I would really hate to see the United States turn into that kind of place. There need to be consequences for the Jan 6th insurrection.

 

Support Your Democracy Workers

Support your local democracy workers!  This is an essential mission in times like these.

I spent some time this week listening to congressional hearings about the infamous Cyber Ninjas election audit in Arizona.  There was a lot of crazy involved in the audit situation…but one of the most painful things, for me, was hearing the Arizona election officials talking about the death threats and intimidation they’ve received from their fellow Americans.  Jack Sellers, chairman of the Maricopa County Board of Supervisors, talked about Sheriff’s department vehicles being parked in front of his house all night due to specific threats directed at him.  Keep in mind that this man is a Republican, but he is being punished anyway for not going along with Trump’s Big Lie.

This same pattern is playing out in many places across the country.  In red states, Republican legislators and election officers who dare to uphold the results of the 2020 presidential race are being harassed and pressured to leave office.  And school board members are resigning because of the vicious attacks they are receiving over mask mandates.  We hear a lot about the squabbling in Congress, but there is a different battle taking place all over the nation. The Trumpist right wing has turned its assault on democracy local.

This strategy works to their advantage on multiple levels.  Number one, it pushes people unwilling to kowtow to Trump out of these jobs, and replaces them with loyal followers who will toe the line.  In the future, the actual vote counts in an election might not matter, if state legislatures and officers are happy to overturn the results.  Number two, it creates a chilling effect which keeps responsible community members from running for these positions.  Who wants to deal with this much stress and fear for doing hard work which is either low-paid or voluntary?

As a volunteer for our county Democratic party, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting some of our local school board members.  These are regular, everyday Moms, former teachers, immigrants who live and work in our community.  They are not people with a Secret Service detail.  They cannot and should not have to deal with constant threats to their safety.  Fortunately, in the area where I live–as far as I can tell–the situation is not that dire, but many others are not so lucky.

So what can we do?  As always, just throwing up our hands and getting angry about terrible Youtube videos is not the answer.  I’m forever on my soapbox about how we need to be involved in local politics, but this is especially true now.

If you have the courage, time and resources, running for or volunteering for one of these positions is a beautiful thing.  The right is currently working on getting its very special Trump-approved candidates to fill these slots.  We need good, sane people to push back on this.

That is not realistic for everyone, however.  For those of us who cannot run, we need to find ways to show support for our local helpers of democracy.  One way is to show up to meetings.  Often, the majority of the community actually supports things like mask mandates, but the minority which opposes them is loud and aggressive about it–and they are the ones who show up and speak out (or scream out, more accurately).

Another way is to show support on social media.  This may seem like a small thing, but again, if you visit the social media accounts of your school district or city council or state legislators, you will often find that the comments are dominated by a flood of trolling and negativity–even for someone who just a few days ago may have won the community’s vote!  If they are doing something you agree with, leave a thank you note of support.  If we let the trolls take over, it gives the false impression that the community is opposed to popular policies.

And of course, around election time, support the campaigns of those who are trying to do the right thing.  Donate if you can, volunteer if you are able to.

It’s not glamorous and it’s not going to get national media coverage, but it’s actions like this, putting in the work day after day, election after election, that will save our democracy.

To the democracy workers–thank you for what you do.  We’ve got your back.

 

No Fairy Tales

When the 2016 election results were announced, I was devastated. I was angry and sad. Trump wasn’t just anathema to everything I believed in–he seemed like a danger to everything I loved about America.

But I never once allowed myself to believe fantasies about Hillary getting reinstated halfway through the term, or conspiracy theories about the election results getting overturned. Not only because overturning the results of a legitimate election would be wrong, but because this just…was not…reality. And I knew that allowing myself to believe in fairy tales would only bring me pain and suffering in the end, when they turned out not to be true.

So instead I worked my butt off to promote my ideas and values on the local and state level, and volunteered as much as I could during the midterms and presidential election. It was sometimes discouraging and hard, but it was the only way to really make a difference and move things forward.

It’s rough–I know!–but the only thing to do when you’ve lost an election is to work to get the vote out and persuade voters that your ideas are the ones that will help them. Anybody telling you about a quick and easy solution is trying to sell you something. And threatening violence is truly the lazy person’s way out. “We can’t have our way, so we’ll have to shoot you.” Guess what: that only makes things worse, and more complicated. And it does not bring other people over to your side.

Please, don’t buy what the Russian bots are selling you. It will only make your life, and all of our lives, more difficult.

 

Why I Will Not Be Joining The Patriot Party

Because I’m actually patriotic.

Like, in a real way.

Unlike fake “patriots,” I don’t pretend America is perfect and that one should never be allowed to criticize it. I understand that there is a dark side to American history. But I love and appreciate all that is most exciting and creative and dynamic about America–the diversity of cultures and religious traditions and political ideas and cuisines which make their home here. I love jazz and hip-hop and salsa, and how those sounds weave their way in and out of the fabric of the nation. Pizza, burritos, falafels, pierogi–yes, please! I’m a big fan of our new Vice-President, the child of Jamaican and South Asian immigrants–and a big fan of my new Muslim county commissioner, Nafisa Fai, who’s got Somali refugee roots. Pre-pandemic, one of my favorite things in the world was a noisy Portland street full of guitar-playing buskers, anarchist protesters and crazy end-times cult members trying to convert me. America wouldn’t be America without them.

But the people who call themselves “patriots”–people like Donald Trump, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity–truth is, they don’t really like America. Not most of it, anyway. They hate cities. They don’t like immigrants, with a few (white-skinned) exceptions. They disdain large parts of American culture–all the music and movies and TV shows created by those coastal “libtards.” Lately, even sports has been in their crosshairs, seeing as so much of it is played by African-American athletes who will not remain conveniently silent about the racism they experience on a regular basis.

They love America only in the most narrow and most unimaginative way–as defined by one race, one religion, one culture, and controlled by one gender. And this from the people who love to talk about freedom….

The white man who drives a big truck, goes to church and listens to country is part of America, too. But the “patriot” movement wants him to become the definition of America. One shade of color instead of the entire rainbow.

But here is the true punchline of this joke…

The wealthy who lead and inspire this movement don’t even respect this middle American white male they mythologize. As far as they are concerned, he can remain poor, employed for a low wage, unable to obtain health care or a secure retirement. They don’t care if he’s able to keep the heat on when extreme weather comes through. They only care about him as long as he can be manipulated into voting for laws that allow them to retain as much of their wealth as possible.

So are they really patriotic? Do they like their fellow Americans?

I’ve got my doubts. And I will not be joining the Patriot Party anytime soon.